4 Simply Scary Last Minute Halloween Costumes for Sad Times

Oh man, Halloween is when this year?? Ugh, better find some simply scary last minute costumes like the title of the article said.

1. Bedsheet Ghost

Maybe just avoid smearing lickstick over your mouth hole. (Not the first time I’ve written that sentence)

The Bedsheet Ghost is a classic for a reason; it’s easy to pull off, cheap, and is really evocative of the monster you are trying to portray. You can find several MULTI. STEP. plans on how to put together a bedsheet ghost yourself on the internet, but since I don’t want to insult you I won’t be going through it here. The best part of the bedsheet ghost is that you can pretend like you are doing it ironically and by best thing I definitely mean most insufferable thing.

2. Bedsheet Toga

Traveling bed of roses neither necessary nor advised.

You know what’s terrible? Costumes that are basically elaborate cultural appropriation. You know what is apparently fair game? Most kinds of white people!

Listen, I don’t do the math on these things, but it is probably ok if you tie a bedsheet around yourself and call it a toga or a robe or a sack-suit. But it may not be. If you get cancelled it’s your own damn fault.

3. A group of assholes that not only still exist, but are apparently an actual politically powerful entity. Today. In real America. USA. For real.

Seriously, don’t do this.

We’re fuuucked.

4. Depressed Person Who Refuses to Leave Their Bedsheets

See entry three.

We feel you, guy.

Frank will be writing more microblogs throughout the month of October leading up to the only holiday that matters, Halloween!

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