Warning: Spoilers lurk below for the last season of Game of Thrones
The staff here at NonPro are bracing themselves for a cold winter and an alarming rate of main character deaths during the conclusive (and very terminal) eighth season of Game of Thrones. In honor of the pending demise of some beloved (as well as abominable) characters, I will be eulogizing in a manner of “In Memoriam” for one character (possibly more) for each episode.
So sit back, relax, and get ready to shed some tears, especially for The North and I swear to the old gods, if Nymeria doesn’t make it out of this season a free and healthy dire wolf, I’m going to have a bone to pick with George R.R. Martin.
Episode 1: The North Remembers Lil’ Lord Umber
While we did not anticipate a HUGE character loss on the season premiere episode, I was personally shocked to see that the only character loss was Lord Ned Umber of Last Hearth (unless we also count the two random seamen who are shot on one of Euron’s ships, one of which is portrayed by Rob McElhenney and in my opinion Mac never really mattered much). All civilians who were at Last Hearth that were expected to travel to Winterfell for safety were also loss to the White Walkers and wights. And the wagons.
“The Old Gods of the Forest hear you, Ned Umber. While your life may have been short, it was honorable. Not many young men would have to courage to stand before the King of the North and accept the fate of his own family’s treachery. However, House Umber’s memory will live on in allegiance with House Stark due to your loyalty to the North and efforts of protecting and providing for your people. May this be a reminder to all that the sins of the father are not to be laid upon the children.”
The death of Lord Umber marks the end of another Northern family as it is assumed he was too young to father an heir and the rest of his family was killed during the Battle of the Bastards. Umber was reanimated as a wight in a fascinating way, since his body was arranged in a symbol on a wall at Last Hearth. It has been speculated that this is a sign from the Night King (because who in their right mind would chop up a bunch of limbs and place them in a spiral formation for funsies), serving as a warning to the rest of Westeros that the army of the dead is coming. There are some theories flying around that the symbol resembles the sigil of House Targaryen and others claim it points to the history revolving around the Child of the Forest. I guess we’ll have to just wait, watch, and find out.
Episode 2: No one died! However…drama!
While no one died in the second episode of season eight, I’d like to mention a few inanimate objects that one might consider… “dead”
- Daenerys’s claim to the throne
Now that all the dirty laundry is out of the bag, Dany knows that Jon/Aegon has a claim to the throne due to the wild patriarchal traditions of Westeros. However, I believe Jon/Aegon may actually honor the fact that she is his elder and not make an attempt to the throne out of respect, love, and fear of becoming toast.
- Arya’s humanity
I’ve been very back and forth over the whole “Arya is actually the waif and the true Arya died a while ago” theory. But it has been an itch at the back of my mind, and after this episode that itch just got a whole lot worse. She just seems so… blank. Could it be that training at Braavos has numbed her, or is it because she’s not really Arya?
- Lady Brienne
BRIENNE OF TARTH IS NOT DEAD BUT HER TITLE IS SINCE SHE IS NOW SER BRIENNE AND IF SHE DIES NEXT EPISODE AT LEAST SHE WILL DIE A KNIGHT AND MAYBE SHE’LL GET TO SMASH WITH JAMIE (Editor’s note: or Tormund Giantsbane <3 <3 <3) BEFORE THEY BOTH DEFINITELY DIE VERY SOON.