Glitter and Glamor

I am a rather large, overweight, geeky, African American male who does not know much more about fashion beyond what he likes to see a hot girl wearing, which usually is not much. But this guy has suddenly developed an interest in the high stakes highfalutin world of high-fashion. Makes as much sense as anything.

Actually, I am way more into woman’s fashion than one would think. I absolutely adore woman’s shoes, particularly Cavalli’s, Jimmy Choo’s, Marc Jacob’s, and Pedro Garcia’s. I am not completely ignorant of fashion, but I am not nearly knowledgeable enough to cover a fashion show, which is why I was the perfect person to do so. This isn’t E, or TMZ, this is NPN, and we give Fashion a completely Non-Productive treatment!

The full title of this production was the “Forever21 & To Be A Star ‘Walk on Water’ Fashion Show”. The “Walk On Water” part was quite literal, as the entire affair was being held on a boat; a boat-restaurant to be exact. The location was Pier 66 in Manhattan, aka the Frying Pan Restaurant, which in actuality is a converted fire-boat. It was a combined effort between the retailer Forever 21 and a new reality show entitled “To Be A Star”, which chronicles the lives of 6 women who are basically running a gauntlet of mentors in the Fashion and Entertainment field in order to become famous all in the span of 3 months. Easy right? The event was co-hosted by Kimmie Smith, editor-in-chief of the lifestyle and fashion website Kitten Lounge, who I will get to in a minute.

First of all, the models. Now I did not meet any of the models who actually did the walking, but I have found that if you go to any social event in New York City, there is a good chance that 1 out of 4 women there will be an aspiring, current, or ex-model. True to form, I met many such women at this event. Contrary to what you would believe, most models are quite down to Earth, and not bat-shit insane. Of course, you would think this because of Reality TV. Reality TV seems to know that the two easiest groups to make look insane are Black people and Models (and, by extension, Black Models). Models are easy to make look crazy because they are usually not eating a lot, hence their blood sugar is low. Anyone whose blood sugar is low is inherently moody, so there you go. And Black people are easy to drive insane if you put them in close spaces with insane people who we cannot escape (which has been the formula of every Real World season since its inception).

But I digress. The people at this event were fun and easy to talk to. “To Be A Star” is expertly executively produced by Jason Metz. Veronica Lee Anne is the publicist and event planner who made the most of the scenery, personnel, and fantastic ideas that made the night a huge success. Trust me, event planning is only slightly easier than, say, planning a large scale amphibious invasion of Europe, and Veronica is one of the best. She is the one who had the great idea to have 12 women sashay down a moving catwalk and call it Walking on Water. I thought that title was particularly witty and incredibly daring. I know people think that Modeling is easy, but it isn’t so easy when you are in heels and the runway is moving beneath your feet…

Trust me.

In any event, everything went off without a hitch, and when the show got to the last two themes of the night, “Club Wear” and “Red Carpet Ready”, the women looked Absolutely Fabulous. What was my contribution to the evening’s events, you ask? I sat off to the side (starboard or port, I’m not really sure) looking for something free to drink, and chatting up the pretty girls next to me. But I also had my trusted assistant Chantal take some great footage, and did a dynamite interview with Kimmie, who is a wonderful person. For the full experience, go listen to the 06/14/10 episode of the Alter Negro Show ( We will have more video here soon, but until then you can follow these links to find more info about the, well, everything!

About John Minus 15 Articles
John Minus is a stand-up comedian and misanthropist - usually in desperate need of sleep/medication/love. You can see him preform live the first Thursday of every month as part of NonPro's Stand-Up Comedy Show at Just Jake's in Montclair, NJ.