Ohmigod You Guys!!!
Sam Little here with another reflection on the end of my undergraduate career. Listeners of the show will remember that I became alumni of my sorority a few weeks ago. As I cried over the nights of my life that I lost my dignity, I recalled some of my ‘famous’ sorority sisters and all of the contributions they have made to our beloved nation. I am choosing now to countdown my six favorite sisters.
6. My Sister Trista Ryan: ABC’s original Bachelorette: My need for the spotlight grows deep as my sorority grows shallow. Nice to know that one of my famous sisters is best known for her work pioneering the reality TV genre that is so well respected…oh, she was dancer for the NBA’s Miami Heat too.
5. My Sister Carol Duvall: Host of “The Carol Duvall Show” on HGTV: That’s right, my sorority has corned the market on floral arrangements, growing plants out of recycled coffee cans, and being the perfect stereotypical middle-aged woman who stays at home while her husband of forty years meets his secretary at the local Holiday Inn for ‘a business lunch.’ Oh yes, there is plenty of ‘eating’ at those meetings.
4. My Sister Laura Innes: Best Known as Carrie Weaver on the TV series ‘ER’: I could make some horrible joke about how she plays the handicapped character who has to hobble around with a gimpy leg but I believe I have said too much already.
3. My Sister Dawn Wells: MaryAnn from ‘Gilligan’s
Island’: She was in the news recently for being caught with marijuana in her vehicle. She plead guilty to one count of reckless driving and was sentenced to five days in jail and six months of probation. You Go Girl!!!
2. My Sister Sherron Watkins: Former Vice President of Enron Corporation responsible for the exposing of financial irregularities to the company CEO: Wasn’t very good at her job???
1. My Sister that No One Ever Wants to Invite to Holiday Dinners Condoleezza Rice: Secretary of State under
President Professional Douche Bag George W. Bush: I’m very, very sorry America.
From reality TV to drugs to gimps to corporate failure to political catastrophe. Sorority life has brought me an entire nation of people I would love to network with. Success is only a password, or bribe, away!!!
Peace Out Cub Scouts!