Sorry gang about the ‘Happily Ever After’ article that spewed controversy for a few minutes. Apparently the so called ‘depressing’ article was a bit too unfunny for NonProductive. Sorry gang but tonight I have written something equally as horrible.
I have an impeccable memory. I can pull things out my ass that few can believe that I can actually both recall and articulate. It is sometimes only a photographic memory. I remember my first grade play and what my line was, “A is for the Angels.” I can remember when I went to my Catholic grammar school before I went to kindergarten so they could assess my current standing at four years old. I remember the teacher who administered the test. I remember getting a box and having to put the little plastic baby figure in the bed. I remember being in preschool and learning the alphabet courtesy of the ‘alphabet people.’
Not all of the memories I can recall are good ones. I can remember both the date my great grandmother died as well as recall the funeral in graphic detail with everything from the coffin color, to what the room looked like, to which toy I brought for the car ride down to Vineland.
It is not that I do not remember happy memories but the negative are imprinted into my brain. I must have been traumatized…a lot.
Perhaps I am just a big loser and everyone actually can recall all of these things but I think there is more to that. I am a dweller. I have a tendency to remember things long after they are over. In many ways a gift and in others a curse.
I sometimes wish that I lose the little piece of my memory that houses all the bad memories I have ever suffered from. I realize this is ridiculous and I’m sure a host of people with Alzheimer’s would agree.
Oh well, if Spiderman could have a song called “Gifts and Curses” by Yellowcard attached to his second movie, than I guess I can live with my Gift/Curse as well.
Hang in there baby,