Frank Can’t Wait to write about Kevin Can Wait

I have never seen an episode of the Kevin James sitcom Kevin Can Wait but amazing things have happened and I’m going to do an excellent job with this article.

The Basics

Kevin James is an actor who plays Paul Blart: Mall Cop in a series of films my nieces and nephew seem to like. He was also in a long-lived sitcom The King of Queens, a spin-off of Everybody Loves Raymond that featured his very Brooklyn wife portrayed by Leah Remini (you know, from that one weird season of Saved by the Bell!) and Ben Stiller/George Costanza’s dad. Kevin plays a blue-collar delivery-man husband.

The King of Queens cast members hugging like idiots.

Eventually, Everybody Loves the King of Queens got cancelled and Kevin James got a new show, Kevin Can Wait. He had a family in this one too, because this is a sitcom not some godless commie show.

The Kevin Can Wait cast has got this Sears photo-shoot down.

In Kevin Can Wait, Kevin plays a retired blue-collar man-in-blue husband, and by that I mean a retired cop. He is married to a character played by Erinn Hayes, who is excellent in Children’s Hospital but that’s unfair because that show is actually a comedy.

Anyways, by the end of season one of Kevin Has Waited Kevin is forced out of retirement and Erinn is forced into the grave. They killed off the wife character! WOW.

Ok, one dumb hug for the road!

Analysis

First off, it doesn’t seem as if Kevin was forced out of retirement to become a mall security guard, so much for the Kevin James Cinematic Universe Theory.

Second, Kevin doesn’t seem to have been forced out of retirement to avenge his wife’s death. Which just seems like a missed chance. Thanks, feminism!

In fact, of the three cardinal ways for sitcoms to deal with the death of a main character (recast with a look-alike, have a tribute episode, or never bring it up ever, King of Kevins seems to have gone with the “mention it and move on” path.

But now, Leah Remini (you know, from that Who’s the Boss? spin-off show Living Dolls!) has been hired full-time on Kevin Geeks Out as maybe the new wife? Like did they go straight to wife or is she just a character on the show now? I never saw an episode.

Anyways, maybe we should revisit the Kevin James Cinematic Universe Theory. Paul Blart is sick of being a mall-cop, trains, changes his name to Kevin, and finally gets into a police academy. Then he retires because he’s immortal for some reason and he’s been doing this awhile. He meets his wife, she gets fired as a nurse, and he needs to get a job as a delivery man to make ends meet because he’s terrible at being ever-living. Eventually his wife dies or becomes Leah Remini. Airtight storytelling right there.

Listen, I forgot where I was going with this article. Was I reviewing a show I never saw or was I making up new “fan theories” or was I talking about the casting change? I sort of did all of that, so I think we’re good here.

Prove that you read this by sharing the article on social media with a caption saying “This is the most revolutionary thing I have ever read!” or something. I don’t know man, I’m just glad Kevin and Leah keep getting work. They are solid comic talents and being a jobbing actor is tough.

Everything is fine.
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