Awful Puppets: A NonPro Advent Calendar-December 9th

SEASON’S GREETINGS, NONPRODUCTIVEERS!

We are pleased to announce that this year’s advent calendar will feature something near and dear to all of our hearts during this holiday season: Horrible, awful, terrifying puppets and dolls!

And now it’s time to sing along with Little Marcy!

Listen, can we all please agree that it is never a good idea to dress exactly the same as your homunculus, even if said homunculus is a famous Christian music singing puppet that has sold millions of albums worldwide? Oh, wait – you’re not familiar with the Little Marcy phenomenon? Good, that means your are a least somewhat sane.

Brainchild of Marcy Tigner, “Little Marcy” was based on Tigner as a child, and was an extremely successful vehicle for the young trombonist/vocalist. Tigner’s squeaking girl-voice and strong Christian values helped the act put out dozens of albums, and even one or two VHS puppet shows where Little Marcy leads a cult of bland, expressionless puppet followers who do nothing but defer to her for all their life decisions and praise her for being so good.


Little Lucy sings C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S

As this advent calendar goes on, you’ll probably see more and more creepy Christian puppet acts, but in almost all cases what makes the thing creepy isn’t the message, it’s the delivery. In all honestly, the albums are well produced, and a great many people remember Little Marcy fondly – but that’s just Stockholm Syndrome. Here’s some more crap:

Little Marcy singing “I’ll Be A Sunbeam”



Little Marcy preaching to her flock



Terrifying.

Return if you dare for the next in our series…

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About Frank Hablawi 174 Articles
Is just this guy, you know? Ignore his social media ramblings on Twitter or Facebook.