SEASON’S GREETINGS, NONPRODUCTIVEERS!

We are pleased to announce that this year’s advent calendar will feature something near and dear to all of our hearts during this holiday season: Horrible, awful, terrifying puppets and dolls!

And now for some Sunday afternoon family time:

Seriously?

What am I looking at here? LIFE magazine describes this scene as “Ernest Castro with ventriloquist doll, ‘Lettice Leefe'” but I prefer to think of it as a horror remake of the Patty Duke Show.

Everyone in this photo looks disturbed in their own unique way. The girl to the left of “Lettice” is staring daggers at the doll, as if her fight-or-flight response was firmly driving her to smash the offending object into pieces, unable to stop until her own fists are raw and bleeding. Good for her. Her sister is cowed down, focusing all her effort into staring at the record player, trying desperately not to make eye contact with Uncle Ernest’s lame attempt to combat loneliness. The woman with the guitar is in denial, grinning manically and seemingly unaware that her family is on the razor’s edge. Ernest himself is awkwardly staring off past the record player as if the music reminded him of loves lost long ago. Was “Lettice” a replacement child for the one he and guitar lady lost tragically? I have no evidence but I can definitely say yes. Even Lettice Leefe looks horrified by everything happening around her.

Now I feel like watching old depressing French films.

Ah well, see you tomorrow for the next in our series…

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