Awful Puppets: A NonPro Advent Calendar-December 2nd

SEASON’S GREETINGS, NONPRODUCTIVEERS!

We are pleased to announce that this year’s advent calendar will feature something near and dear to all of our hearts during this holiday season: Horrible, awful, terrifying puppets and dolls!

Today we have 80’s favorite, Teddy Ruxpin:


80s Commercials - Teddy Ruxpin

Here’s the thing about this particular automation: I realize people like this bear. Teddy bears are by design cute and cuddly and endearing in a classic sort of way. Well, maybe that rule shouldn’t hold true for iron-guts here. First, he was stuffed with at least as much sharp plastic and metal as he was fluff. Second, he moved about with haunting internal animus, or in other words, “he is not alive but still living”. Now what does that remind me of… oh yeah! The motherfucking undead! As the video above attests, Teddy Ruxpin is a nightmare mixture of Metropolis and Frankenstein.

Also; D-Batteries. A reliable way to commit suicide in the 80s was to chuck used D-batteries into the air and let them brain you on the way down. True story.

Terrible. Tune back in tomorrow for the next in our series…

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About Frank Hablawi 178 Articles
Is just this guy, you know? Ignore his social media ramblings on Twitter or Facebook.